Asshole Kid: Steals the Kindle Fire Stick
This is another one that involves more than one child and not just one of these darling little angels: the Kindle Fire Stick. All three little sweethearts partake in stealing the Kindle Fire Stick. And they do it out of survival of the fittest. Three boys. Three personalities. Three potential enemies that use their power of the Kindle Fire Stick to take control of the TV and what is streaming.
Picture the scene: three young savages fill the room. All three shirtless. Showing off their mini muscles. They set their eyes on the prize. The sleek black Kindle Fire Stick. The controller of the television destiny. Mom powers on the screen. All three natives scream out their demands of what to watch. One. Two. Three. focus in on the remote, the chance to make the choice. All three run toward the stick. All three crash into each other. Start throwing fists. All three start crying, whining, and screaming because they want to watch something different than what was chosen. And of course, none agree on the selection. And that is when mom comes in screaming, telling them all to find separate couch cushions and makes the choice for them all and demands they like it. (And a five whole seconds later it starts all over again when they run out of patience and interest in the TV. This time their eyes set on the legos.)
I can’t really blame them for their actions. It’s a dog eat dog world when it comes to the TV and selection of what show to pick. Big brother wants to watch “big kid” shows (whatever those are), middle bear wants to watch video game shows 24/7 and no more baby shows, while baby bear is currently stuck on Boxtrolls, Moana, and ParaNorman. (Can someone please tell me how my almost two year old has a liking for ParaNorman. Not sure when he watched it, how he watched it, and why in the world he likes that movie, but he happily chants, “Norman, Norman, Norman” several times a day. (And middle bear pretends to hate that movie, but continues to watch the movie from start to finish even after baby brother has lost interest only a few minutes into the start.)
As a way to stake their claim, keep their power of choice, slay all other options for their brothers, the savage beasts will often walk around with the remote control so that no one else can snag it. Need to go to the bathroom? Kindle Fire Stick goes with them. Time to get dressed? Kindle Fire Stick goes with them. Grabbing a cheese stick from the refrigerator? Kindle Fire Stick in hand.
The problem: the remote is always missing in the wilderness. And can never be found. For several hours. (Sometimes days.)
How many times can one family say, “where is the remote?” Apparently, over and over again until the end of time.
Move over “can’t we all just get along.”
Hello, “This is my happy place: Where the remote shall always lie.”
(And just for the record, or to throw it out there to the universe…when it is mom’s turn to pick? I am going to start hiding the Kindle Fire Stick in my underwear drawer!)
How did it all get started? The Asshole Kid movement. (Cheap therapy and commodore of fellow moms just trying to keep their sanity, or what’s left of it.) And there is a whole series taking place now. Hope you love it.