Asshole Kid: Peed in a Cup
Asshole Kid: Peed in a Cup (in my office, 10 baby-sized steps away from the bathroom). Seriously, is this real life? I wish I was so crazy imaginative that I was making this madness up! Let me ask a few questions before I get started: 1) a cup?!?!?!! 2) why a cup? 3) did it have to be in my office? 4) how did your aim get so good before the ripe age of two? (wait just a minute!!!) 4) did your daddy teach you this? (hang tight, I need to make a very important phone call…)
The last few days have been fairly tame in the Nuttall home. Even after taking ALL THREE CHILDREN to Disneyland with my mother-in-law, the tides have been calm. For the most part the kiddos were amazing, other than wanting to leave Disney the entire time to SWIM at the hotel. We can swim any given day, all year long, for the rest of time, and the kids go to Disney and spend the entire day counting down till we can go back to the hotel to swim (in a public pool, no less)!
(In truth, I was really hoping for some crazy Asshole Kid episode at Disney so I had funny content to bring back to you, but nothing too exciting to bring home as a souvenir.)
When we arrived home this morning I unpacked and had to take about 10 minutes in my office to package some orders and ship out! (Ain’t nobody got time to wait days and days for their SeneGence goodies so I like to ship 3-4 times a week.) The babes has been potty-training off and on for the last couple weeks (his idea, definitely NOT mine) and the day before we left for Disney he was naked or in baby chonies the entire day with only two accidents. (A massive doo in the pantry and a pee accident in the kitchen right when daddy got home. Location, location, location.)
Usually when I am packaging, baby Nuttall (he is a 6 weeks away from two years old, so let me call him baby while I still can!) is destroying my office like a tasmanian devil and usually demanding gloss on his “wips”. Today he was quiet. Quiet is never a good thing with an energetic baby man.
Out of the corner of my eye, mid thank you letter telling someone she picked the perfect color for her complexion, I hear a sound, a sound that I wouldn’t normal hear in my office. Asshole Kid: peed in a cup! (Thankfully not a cup I was using! Or a cup with pre-measured keto amazingness.)
Sometimes when my children do crazy, insane, out-of-this world things (like peeing in a cup), I have to decide if I am going to laugh, cry, or be insanely impressed, because HOLY MOLY that took aim! (My six-year-old doesn’t even have that good of aim! The toilet seat circumference is MUCH bigger and he can’t make it IN the toilet to save his life.)
Once I get the full picture into view, I am literally staring at my (almost) two-year-old with a cup covering his private parts and he is peeing! (INTO THE CUP). He finishes, announces loudly “all done”, hands me the cup, and starts clapping. I wonder if he knew it was my cup, with my name on it, and he was just returning it to its rightful owner. (I have so many emojis I feel the overwhelming need to insert here.) By the way, just for the record, my husband has a cup as well. It says “Bill”. Why didn’t he pick that cup? (It can be such a cruel, cruel world.)
And I just have to clap and celebrate with him because after all, we are potty-training and he did, in fact, not pee in his diaper.
I really forgot how much I hate potty-training, but ya know, baby bear made it interesting again! I wonder how many places I can get this kid to pee instead of in his diaper over the next few months! (None of my friends are going to invite me over till the kid wears undies without worry!)
Hey Nuttall baby, THIS is what your potty chair looks like, did you forget?